T.J. (darktool09) wrote in a_box_of_stupid,
T.J.
darktool09
a_box_of_stupid

Gah

Alright, so here's the deal. I joined this LiveJournal community, right? It was called "Three Containers of Nonsense." Okay, so in the bio, this guy says don't make any introduction posts when you join. Sounds reasonable enough, eh? So I post a story or two, and then I see this fool who has deliberatly posted an introduction post. I was immediately distraught, and of course I feared for the sanctity of the community. Anyway, finding out about people on LiveJournal isn't that hard, because a lot of people flaunt their public information all over the place. Needless to say, this person wasn't going to be very happy when I caught up with them.

So I manage to hitch-hike across Canada by riding a frenchman like a horse. I arrive at the perpetrator's house and peer into the window. He is busy at work, joining communities and post introductory posts. That bastard. I rip off my shirt, Rambo style, displaying my weak, pale abdomen, and jump through the window. I grab the biggest shard of glass I could see, whirl around, and fling it straight into his eye.

So this guy stands up, screaming. Ungodly amounts of blood are gushing from his eye, and the remains of it are dangling down the side of his face. He claws with his fingers at the shard of doom stuck in his eye until I whip out a sawed-off shotgun and blow his right leg off. A cloud of red splatters onto the wall behind him, and he collapses on the floor, sobbing. I toss the shotgun aside and stroll up to his quivering, dying body. "That'll teach you, I cried out with victory. I kicked his head off with my elbow and ran away laughing like a maniac.
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