So I manage to hitch-hike across Canada by riding a frenchman like a horse. I arrive at the perpetrator's house and peer into the window. He is busy at work, joining communities and post introductory posts. That bastard. I rip off my shirt, Rambo style, displaying my weak, pale abdomen, and jump through the window. I grab the biggest shard of glass I could see, whirl around, and fling it straight into his eye.
So this guy stands up, screaming. Ungodly amounts of blood are gushing from his eye, and the remains of it are dangling down the side of his face. He claws with his fingers at the shard of doom stuck in his eye until I whip out a sawed-off shotgun and blow his right leg off. A cloud of red splatters onto the wall behind him, and he collapses on the floor, sobbing. I toss the shotgun aside and stroll up to his quivering, dying body. "That'll teach you, I cried out with victory. I kicked his head off with my elbow and ran away laughing like a maniac.